Galactic Gossip

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HoloNet PR Officer

Galactic Gossip

Post by HoloNet PR Officer » Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:45 pm

Here is where you will find all the latest hottest galactic gossip, celebrity scandal, and fabulous fashion, so read on to find out what's hot and what's not, and who did what!


You may post anything that would fit into this category here
Tianili Jinn

Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Tianili Jinn » Thu May 07, 2009 1:16 am

Jilted Jedi back but out of her mind!


Rumour has it that Lyndall Arden, Jedi Knight and member of Bakura's ruling household has finally been found. The twenty one year old heiress went missing eighteen months ago after her Fiance broke off their engagement. No trace was ever found of her until now! A mysterious source has confirmed that she was found on Coruscant wearing rags of all things, and returned home to her family. Though the family have yet to release any official statement, sources close to us at the Jedi Temple will confirm that Lyndall is quite insane and spends most of her days talking to raindrops and refusing to wear clothes. That's not something that will go down too well on those fancy state occasions.
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Jarod
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Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Jarod » Thu May 07, 2009 5:03 am

True Identity of Sith Lord confirmed! A Galactic Farce!


Moments after the Kaminoan incident where a known terrorist was apprehended by the Clone security forces and later joined by Jedi Master Jarod, eyewitnesses who had bought items from the swindling Jawa known as Zeb Nkik confirmed the identity of a sith lord that has uptil now been merely a figment of galactic fear and worry to the Jedi forces.

That's right, the much feared Sith Lord Stormcrow who is attributed to many a crime and odd happening has been found to infact be nothing more than a myth or more technically - a Pylat bird. Eyewitnesses who include diplomats, artisans and a very high ranking Gungan Court member all confirm that the Jawa had been referring to the bird as Stormcrow while trying to sell him. Experts speculate that the entire image of this 'Sith Lord Stormcrow' was nothing more than propaganda and fear tactics employed by the terrorist cell who must have realized that Corsec was close to figuring out the true identity of the 'Sith Lord'.

This reporter even went so far as to ascertain details as to this development with Jedi Jarod who's only response was a blank stare followed by a facepalm. Surely, he must be reporting the Jedi Council at this very moment telling them about how they were once again duped by the forces of Evil...
There will come a time, when mankind will be on the brink of self destruction... and when man will look to the heavens one last time, searching for answers, God will finally answer and say, "You must construct additional Pylons!"
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Jarod
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Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Jarod » Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:35 pm

The Hotter Side of the Force - Secret Sexy Jedi Calender Discovered

This reporter has unearthed evidence of a clandestine calender being circulated within the Jedi ranks. My contact within the Jedi temple has informed me and also sent me images of some of the pictures being circulated in this steamy calender that no doubt is leading more than one young male padawan down the 'path to the dark side.'

The Calender however doesn't seem to be too picky about who its calender contains, which is said to be the first of its kind to be created, seeing as it contains both Sith, Jedi and even non force sensitives. Its speculated that this is a ploy to generate more income to make up for lacking donations these days. The reason behind the calenders creation however seems to take a back seat as the now leaked 'publication' that most say are mere computer generations while others say that they were taken without any consent has turned many heads and affected various other species in a myriad of other ways.

The Calender, for legal reasons cannot be published here, but here's a quick look at the debutants -


January - Kira Cerof

February - Ael t'Rllaillieu

March - Trixy & Foxie Éclair (little known, but magnificently hot Zeltron twins)

April - Gyzelle Swallows

May - Kantari Refluix (infamed Twi'lek terrorist)

June - Kaytren Li

July - Inara Anath

August - Kariime Zahav

September -
Azamae Ma'at

October - Sinistra

November - Siduri Costelle

December -
Ambaren Vanwa'min


Ooc - Alright, I can add descriptions in brackets if you'd like... and remove names if you'd like me to. I don't mean any offense and am sure that none of the pictures are risque... hehe especially because its a 'Jedi calender?' lol, but seriously the pics were supposed to be taken discreetly by the reporter :P Hope you get a laugh out of this one.
There will come a time, when mankind will be on the brink of self destruction... and when man will look to the heavens one last time, searching for answers, God will finally answer and say, "You must construct additional Pylons!"
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Stormcrow
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Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Stormcrow » Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:58 pm

*Stormcrow picks up a copy of the Galactic Gossip and starts drinking some coffee.*

Now THAT'S a calender

*He chuckles as he flips the page, sipping on the coffee. When he reads the next article back, his eyes widen and he spits out the coffee.*

A PYLAT BIRD??!?!?!?!?!?!? A GALACTIC FARCE?!?!?!?!?!

*Stormcrow throws down the paper and stands up looking at the sky, the camera panning upwards, zooming out.*

JAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!

Your hands upon a deadman's gun and you're looking down the sights.
Your heart is worn, and the seams are torn, and they've given you reason to fight,

And you're not gonna take what they've got to give and you not gonna let them take your will to live,
Because they've taken enough and you've given them all you can give.
And luck won't save them tonight. They've given you reason to fight!

~Ashtar's Command
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Darth Rebelious
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Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Darth Rebelious » Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:06 pm

A hell of a calender indeed....
"The Dark Side is my tool, destruction is my masterpiece. Admire my work or fear it, it's your choice."
~ Darth Rebelious


Bio: viewtopic.php?f=78&t=2193
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Jarod
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Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Jarod » Sat Jun 13, 2009 11:32 pm

Ooc - *Grins...* Stay tuned for more Gossip Column news! (though Jarod doesn't write these... some random reporter character.)
There will come a time, when mankind will be on the brink of self destruction... and when man will look to the heavens one last time, searching for answers, God will finally answer and say, "You must construct additional Pylons!"
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Jarod
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Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:12 pm

Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Jarod » Tue Jul 07, 2009 3:40 am

Peace Out, Man! - The Truth about Jedi Philosophy!

Our undercover reporter has brought to light some even more interesting facts about the Jedi scourge that has appoinetd itself the so called protector's of our inter-galactic peace. But has anyone bothered to question just what kind of peace? This reporter has! And the results were to say the least, shocking!

Photographic evidence clearly shows us that at the very least two of the Jedi Council grow their own 'herbs' and aren't too picky about who they hand them out to. Are these herbalists gone wild the people we trust our lives with? Are they even sober enough to go about fighting the Sith menace... This reporter thinks that they may as well have forgotten all about it while lighting up yet again. Ever wonder about those metallic pipes they always carry around with them? They're termed to be weapons of finesse and elegance... cough, cough, I believe this is Jedi code for more pleasure, less plant wastage. This reporter believe that like eh Calendar that was quickly denied by Jedi PR agents, this is another means to increase revenue for the Citadel that has seen job cuts and down-sizing in these economic times... Hm, one would think that there might just he a little wisdom in this new 'herbal' inclination.

[[Here are displayed pictures of Jarod in one of his gardens mixing different plants leaves, roots and stems with a ornate looking mortar and pestle. Different plant ingredients were stacked in neat piles all around him on the grass. The picture is sub-titled - They take their work very seriously!

Another picture shows Kaytern lie watering a set of hanging potted plants that from the distance of the picture can't be clearly made out but might look suspiciously like another more popular and used cousin of the same family. This one is captioned - Everyone grows their own person stores!

A double set of pictures show Ambaren walking aruond with a large flower in her hands, the vines of which extended into the sleeves of her long robes and another of Karrio Jenkins attempting to plant surge a sapling. The captions for these read - Only the force can answer what she's doing... and Don't worry, practice makes perfect!

The last picture shows Jarod bending over a plant much like the one Kaytren was watering with a bright eyed youngling, known to most as Ashlin. Both of them were hunched over the plant and showed Jarod pointing at it, smiling at the youngling. The caption to this read - Might as well start them off young, eh? Build up the aptitude... ]]


Sadly this disgusting trend is one that the Mandalorian Empire has taken advantage of. Special sources deep within the Jedi Temple as well as the Mandalorian Empire tell of a top secret meeting where plants of a suspicious nature from the far reaches of the Galaxy were offered to the Jedi Council along with a metallic gardening suit that we can only assume is technology that the agriculture industry would love to get its hands on. Whispers of a clandestine treaty to divert cocoa and munitions trade to Mandalorian space in exchange for more shipments of these shady plants... Pun not intended!

So remember, the next time the Jedi talk about peace and harmony... remember that they mean it only within oneself... a state they believe can only be achieved with the held of their 'lightsabers' and 'plants'. Perhaps, the light side of the force is in fact a hidden reference to the state they like to induce themselves in...
There will come a time, when mankind will be on the brink of self destruction... and when man will look to the heavens one last time, searching for answers, God will finally answer and say, "You must construct additional Pylons!"
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Eric Coruscant X'ree
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Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Eric Coruscant X'ree » Wed Nov 04, 2009 6:19 am

*Eric X'ree drinks his coffee, reads about the calendar, sees Kaytren's name, then spits out his coffee.*

"WHAT THE....!?"
Can you catch the wind?
See the breeze?
Its presence is revealed with the leaves on the trees
An image of my faith in the unseen

I'm gonna fight for what's right, today I'm speaking my mind. And if it kills me tonight...
I will be ready to die.

Eric Coruscant X'ree's Bio
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Jarod
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Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:12 pm

Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Jarod » Fri Oct 15, 2010 5:59 pm

The Jedi finally get their Priorities right!

It seems that the jedi are beginning to diversify in the way they market themselves. Amid galactic turmoil, it seems that the Lead Lady of Bakura has finally come in touch with her feminine side with this latest venture which ties the Jedi to the fashion world. This journalist, is for perhaps the first time, happy with a Jedi decision and supports (pun intended, of course) the new line of lingerie that's taken the fashion world by storm. Boldly titled Kaytren's Katalogue and Li's Lingerie, this collection of women's under-garments is the latest in comfort, fashion and style; all with the added comfort of knowing that the proceeds go to Jedi relief efforts on various worlds. For those of you who are, dare I say, fashion impaired and by association, behind on the times about the latest and trendiest then you must kick your own arses into gear and get yourself at the very least one of these amazing pieces that come in creams and ivories with a few even coming with tiny embroidered Jedi wisdom. While personally, this reporter doesn't care for these, one did catch her eye -

"Healer's hate it when patient's come in with dirty underwear... they're kind of icky..."

While this doesn't quite make sense, I found it to be rather hilarious and bought myself and a few of my friends this particular model. (No. 1138, if you're interested) But before I go on and on about just how magnificent and completely amazing this new line is, let's look at what fashion magazine's have had to say about Li' Lingerie!

"Stunning Sith Warriors are steaming over the new controversal Kay's Katalogue - an impressive, most impressive collection of undergarments specificially designed to support the most active of Guardians or Consulars. Li's Lingerie launched this week, and they have been flying off the shelves faster than an X-Wing down a Death Star....." - Fashionista Galactica

"Li's Lingerie!!! The most sexy thing to appear since Leia wore that bikini!!" - Hawt Magazine

"Strapless Sith is SOOOO Last Season.... The New Look Is LI!" - The Coruscanti Fem

"LEIA WOULD WEAR LI!" - The Classy Coruscanti

Now if you're really gearing to buy a pair (more if you're sensible) than this reporter has to end this report with a bit of bad news - The first batch to ship is nearly sold out! While I managed to get my hands on a few sets fairly quickly, for those of you who just entered the loop, I suggest you hurry before the Li line force's its way into the collectible class!

Spoiler:
Ooc - Magazine inputs provided by the immortal and epic Erika effing Sanderson! Couldn't have done this without her! :)
There will come a time, when mankind will be on the brink of self destruction... and when man will look to the heavens one last time, searching for answers, God will finally answer and say, "You must construct additional Pylons!"
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Jarod
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Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Jarod » Thu Aug 29, 2013 10:12 am

Ooc - What? No gossip since my last post? O.o
There will come a time, when mankind will be on the brink of self destruction... and when man will look to the heavens one last time, searching for answers, God will finally answer and say, "You must construct additional Pylons!"
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Raul Endymion
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Re: Galactic Gossip

Post by Raul Endymion » Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:31 pm

First Annual Mr. and Ms. Universe Calendar!

Raul appeared with arms crossed, a smirk on his face, and a confident stance. He looked triumphant on anyone's flat screen or holoprojector. His white duster with gold trim was elegant, as was the rest of his typical tau ceti outfit. He had a regal appearance about him. It must have been the gold trimming on the white duster, the pants, and the white shirt.

"Welcome welcome to the latest gossip in the galaxy. I have for you, through various channels, willing participants, and those unaware participants the first true Galactic Swimsuit Calendar, for both men and women. I have hand selected twenty four of the best looking people in the Galaxy for this calendar. Some willingly gave me pictures, others, weren't even asked. Also, the June centerfolds for both the men and women calendars are the staple of them. Purchase the Calendar today, for a premium price of twenty credits. Enjoy a year's worth of pictures!"

Women Calendar

January: Kaytren Li

February: Tatiana

March: Iris Panaka

April: Sophia Valca

May: Rachel Faleur

June: Leyana Khot

July: Sierra Balar & Delphi Balar

August: Erith Colton

September: Alicia Stern

October: Aria Theron

November: Siren

December: Vanessa Lux



Men Calendar

January: Alex Lynd

February: Jaden Kath

March: Miko Panaka

April: Kurayami Bloodborn

May: Rayce Ledger

June: John Biccket

July: Raul Endymion

August: Erril Winterhold

September: Damien Cerof

October: Melchior

November: Cyrus Theron

December: Nereus Draken
Raul Endymion: "In order to eriadicate the Sith, first you need to be one. Sith are the only effective weapon against other sith."

Tau Ceti Base of Operations: viewforum.php?f=371

Raul's theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDQ7hXMLxGc

Skype: sagedoomhunter21
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